Tired of shouting up the stairs to a child who is watching TV instead of cleaning their room? There’s a better way. Learn why this scenario rarely gets positive results and how to get your kids to clean their rooms.
Yelling will likely not resolve too many problems. Sometimes, it can work for the moment, but it also can worsen the issue in the future. Instead, try a little creativity and consistency. Creativity Creativity, in combination with consistency, can play an important role in getting kids to do tasks such cleaning their rooms. Who says chores have to be boring? Why not make them fun? For preschoolers and toddlers, try having races to the toy box. If a toy grocery cart or wagon is available, the children can pick up more toys at once. Racing with the cart or wagon can be fun. With older kids you may have to try something else. Often, the reason behind older kids not cleaning is because there is not an exact place for everything. Try taking the kids each on their own separate shopping trip. Allow them to pick out organizational items for their room. To make it more fun, allow them to personalize those items with paint or fabric. Think about your child's favorite activity and try to incorporate that in cleaning the room. For instance, if your kids enjoy dancing, you can turn on the music. To get your kids to clean their rooms let them know they can dance while cleaning. Creative ideas do not have to be limited to those above. They may even need to be updated periodically as your kids get bored. Sometimes all that is needed to motivate kids to clean their rooms is a fresh idea that hasn't been used before. Also, this could act as an opportunity for creative play with your child. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, creative play is essential. Consistency If you have instructed your kids to clean their rooms, you must show them you are serious about it, even if it’s fun. Stay in close proximity to the rooms until they are clean and keep finding more fun ways to get the job done so they don’t get bored or lose sight of the task at hand. It is possible to be fun and serious at the same time. When you are trying to get the kids to clean their rooms with fun and creativity, it should be evident that whether they choose to have fun with it or not, their rooms still need to be cleaned. But make sure it’s their choice. This teaches more responsibility. When combining creativity and consistency, the kids should easily understand that their room is going to get cleaned. More On Cleaning With Kids: Upstream Parenting: What To Do When Young Kids Won't Clean Why is My Child's Room So Messy?
2 Comments
Relate with your child by using your own childhood.
Remember the things you wanted to do and the places you wanted to go as a kid. Put those things in action with your children (if they're interested), as well as places and things they suggest. Take them to a beach to collect seashells and to build sand castles. Save for a trip to Disneyland or Sea World. Try to expose your children to as much fun as possible. Being a child only comes once. Help your children enjoy it by tapping into your own childhood desires. *Note: The author's Positive Parenting Tips have grown and evolved into what she dubs "Upstream Parenting."
Your older kids won't share and you don't know why. You taught them to share as toddlers. But now all of a sudden they seem quite stingy. It's actually something parents deal with on a regular basis. I have even dealt with this in my own children, as well as those I've nannied in the past. When older kids won't share, I find it doesn't always indicate they are being mean. There may be a deeper issue or maybe even a simple parenting solution.
Get To The Root Of The Issue It's easy to get frustrated when you think your child should know better. But there may very well be a simple reason behind your child not wanting to share. Is the item something special? Is there another plausible reason? Sit your child down for a long talk '" only you do the listening. Let your child's words dominate. Even if you don't agree, hear what your child is saying and try to understand why sharing seems so out of reach with this item.
Maybe They Don't Have Much
Older kids aren't as prone to being stingy as younger ones. Is your child hoarding a specific item or group of items because they don't have much else? Sometimes when kids don't feel they have very much, they can appear to be stingy with what they do have. It may not be stinginess, but an attempt to protect what they treasure. Some parents will make the mistake of showering them with gifts when they hear this. Buying a few things is fine. But, let them treasure a few special items that they aren't expected to share with everyone. Are Other Kids Picking On Them, Losing Their Things, Or Bullying? Sometimes kids don't want to share because other kids are bullying them. Who wants to share with someone who is being mean or taking their toys? Have a talk with your child to make sure this is not what's happening. My older kids have certain things they do not like to share with the younger kids. While the younger kids are not bullying them, they aren't always as responsible with some things. Therefore, the older kids hesitate to share certain items and I am fine with this. Have You Instilled Compassion? This is another reason some older kids may not share. If kids are not taught to consider the feelings of others, they really may not understand why they cannot share. Ask them what it feels like when other people do not want to share with them. Be sure they know that what they feel may be exactly what others feel and it isn't nice to make others feel that way. Since this is older kids we're talking about here, you can talk to them like adults. They will understand you. Show Them What It Feels Like When Others Share Share something of yours that you treasure. Once you do, have them describe to you how that makes them feel. Most likely, it makes them feel very special. Be sure to point out that the same feelings will be displayed by those they share their things with. They may be smart enough to know this. But perhaps it isn't the first that comes to mind. Sometimes older kids, and even adults, need to be reminded of these things. Getting to the root of the issue behind older kids refusing to share is as simple as observation. Sit in the sidelines to see what is going on. With a combination of persistence, consistence, and lessons in compassion, your older kids can soon get back to the friendly, caring attitude you know and love.
Kids need to learn there are consequences for every action. But what if time-outs just aren't cutting it? Do you revert to spanking? If your opinion on that method is like mine, then spanking is not an option. For some it might be. But I personally believe it isn't necessary. So what do you do when you feel this way? As an experienced mom, I can tell you there are many alternatives appropriate for each unique situation.
My kid is not phased by time-outs. Some kids just won't sit still in time out, especially smaller kids who are full of energy. Yet others don't seem to really care one way or the other and may go back to the behavior that them into it in the first place. If time-outs won't cut it for your kid, you do have other options. Time-out can be a good aid when it comes to disciplining kids. But it certainly is not the be all and end all and spanking is not the only alternative. Spanking? No way! Each person has their own method and some, like me, are not fond of spanking. If you don't want to use this method and time-outs are not working, don't worry. There are plenty other methods to use. While it sometimes seems so, spanking and time-outs are far from the only options when it comes to discipline. I prefer to use positive discipline with my kids, which basically refers to any method that teaches the lesson in a positive way. Think about the offense. When you want to teach your child a lesson, think about what was done first. The punishment should fit the crime. Don't be too harsh for a mild offense. This could actually cause resentment instead of teaching your child a lesson. At the same time, don't take serious offenses too lightly. The point is to teach kids there are consequences and also to teach them how to learn from their mistakes. If you want to follow positive parenting methods, whatever method you choose should involve something that will do both in a positive way. Why did your child misbehave? Before you can come up with a plan that will teach your child a lesson, you first need to know the reason for the ill behavior. Was your child simply confused at the correct behavior? Did the child not realize the action was wrong? Did the child feel bullied or pressured? Was the child purposefully acting out or being mean? Think about what led to the misbehavior and develop your action plan from there. What lesson are you trying to teach? Are you trying to teach your child to think about a better response next time? Are you trying to teach your child what's right and what isn't? Is your child hitting and you want to instill why that isn't a good thing to do? Do you want your child to know that walls are not for coloring, but coloring books are perfect for it? Think about the exact lesson you want your child to gain and go from there. Put it all together. I find that when I consider the offense, the reason behind it, and what lesson I need my kids to learn, I come up with the best course of action. Sometimes, when in the heat of the moment and trying to think quick, parents can make the wrong discipline choices. We've all been there. Parenting is always a work-in-progress and we live and learn. Each family will have a different course of action that works for them in each situation. The important thing is that your motive always remains to do what's in the best interest of your child. More from Lyn: Positive Parenting Does Not Mean Zero Discipline Easy Discipline Tricks for Babies Guide to Positive Discipline for Children *Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Many children are afraid of the dark and parents are constantly searching for new ways to lessen that fear, and preferably make it non-existent. Throughout the years, parents have tried and invented many methods for this purpose. However, for some reason, it still remains as one of the many quests of raising children. On my quest to solve this mystery, I tried many things. However, none of the traditional ideas seemed to work. That's when I was forced to use my creative side. I decided that to get rid of the fear of the dark, we would have to teach any children with it that the dark was fun. Hence, the "dark party" was born.
What is a Dark Party? A dark party is simply a party in the dark. It is a party in which the dark is celebrated by playing games and doing things you would normally do with the lights on. By doing regular everyday things, as well as playing games and having fun, it may help "normalize" the concept of darkness in a child's mind, which could help to take away some of the fears associated with being in the dark. A dark party can last any length of time the children are comfortable with. I find that one hour seems to be the best. Planning & Organizing the Dark Party The first step in planning a dark party for your child or children is deciding upon who needs to attend. A child who is afraid of the dark will feel more secure if people he or she feel safe with attend the party. This means the parents and siblings should be there. All children in the family who are afraid of the dark should attend the dark party. Also, if your child has friends who are afraid of the dark, invite those children and their parents to the dark party as well. The dark party should take place when it is dark outside, unless you have a room that will not be affected by the light outside. Have an emergency flashlight on hand in case of an accident or a child getting too scared. That way it will be easier to get to the light if necessary. Explaining The Dark Party to the Children Shortly before the dark party begins, you'll want to explain to the children the meaning of the dark party. Explain to them that the lights will go out soon and that there is nothing to be afraid of in the dark. The dark can be fun. Let them know that the party will help them so they won't be afraid of the dark anymore. Be sure they know they will be getting treats and playing games, just like any other party, but it will all be done in the dark. On To The Dark Party To hold the dark party, simply play the games listed below and give children treats during the time you wish. Parents and others there for support should participate in the game-playing. Having the light for significant amounts of time might encourage night lights, instead of encouraging the children not to have fear, so be sure that your dark party stays dark, unless someone’s fear of the dark gets too strong. Parents should have any treats within easy reach, possibly inside of a gift bag with handles, so that it can be held on to during the party. Dark Party Game #1: Dark Charades This is played like charades, but in the dark. Instead of motions, the players will make sounds. The players cannot speak words, but can make sound effects to hint as to what they are portraying. To play, the first acting player decides what he or she wants to do and gives a small hint in one word to the other players. He or she might say "movie" or "thing". The acting player must then make sounds that will get the players to guess what he or she is portraying. The first player to guess correctly then trades places with the acting player. The game continues as long as the host or guests would like. Dark Party Game #2: What's My Secret? For this game, all of the players should be seated in a straight line. The first player tells a secret to the next person and that person whispers it to the next until the secret has been passed to the last person at the end of the line. That person tells the secret out loud. It may be quite different than the original. The original secret teller then tells what was actually said. The end result is often pretty funny. This is similar to the long-played game of “telephone”. The main difference is that this one is played completely in the dark. Dark Party Game #3: Where Are You? This is similar to the popular game of Hide N' Seek. The player who is "it" will just stay where he or she is and close the eyes and count to ten. While he or she is counting, the other players will hide. All players should hide in the same room. Players may hide behind objects, but not underneath or inside objects. Once the person who is "it" counts to ten, all players must be hidden. "It" will search for players asking "Where are you?" Once they’re all found, the last person to be found (or the person who cannot be found) is named as the new “it”. Because this game is played in the dark, it will be slightly trickier than the original. Dark Party Game #4: Silly Stories This one is simple. Party guests should make up silly stories together. Each person says one sentence at a time until players end the story. This can be done over and over. These can get quite funny. This is a good way to get rid of a fear of the dark, since it gets very fun. Dark Party Game #5: Guess The Treat For this game, each guest eats a treat and must guess what they've eaten. Be sure to account for any food allergies beforehand. If anyone is allergic to anything, don't put it in any of the treats, since you will be doing this game in the dark. Important Facts Remember that the author is not a medical or psychological professional. This method may not work on all children and it's possible that some won't be open to trying it or might be traumatized by it. The author has had success using this with her children and it is her sincere hope that it can help many other children combat this fear as well. The author is not responsible for any consequences that may arise from attempting this method with children. One should use their own discretion and the advice of a medical/psychological professional when working with a child's fears. Does your child have a fear of the dark? Have you conquered a fear of the dark with a different method? Have you tried the author's method with either success or failure? Leave your comments and suggestions below. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network |
Instant Download On Order
Categories
All
Archives
April 2024
|